Paranoia Setting In

I thought I would write a little bit about Nana's paranoia. I'm not sure why, but she has developed some paranoia about bad people getting into the house and hurting her or us. I've asked her if she's afraid of dieing, and she says no, not at all. But for some reason, she is having these horrible dreams, and hallucinations to that effect. And what's worse, it's scary for her.

Yesterday, while I was at Katie's (Gina's daughter) birthday party, she was hearing Mexican noises and voices. She didn't think she was here in Bountiful. She wasn't sure where she was. She wouldn't listen to Melanie that everything was alright. She had her bring in Doug and he tried to convince her, and she still wouldn't believe it was a dream. But she decided to just relax and let it happen. She was quiet for a little bit and when she couldn't stand it anymore, she got up to go potty and checked outside. Sure enough she was here in Bountiful, she checked the living room and sure enough it was only our family here. She apologized for causing trouble and went back to bed. Doug told her it was fine, and asked if she was okay now. She said yes. When I got home, she talked about it, and felt bad that she didn't believe them.

Last night she called me in and told me they were going to come in here and kill us all. She was concerned about me and wanted to make it as easy as possible for me. She said she was okay, because she was ready to die. I asked her who was going to kill us, she said it was a woman who told her that they were going to come in and shoot us all. The only people in the house was our family. I tried to convince her that it was a dream. We have no guns in the house and there were no bad guys here. She said she never heard such bad language, "but I guess if he's trying to save his children, he could speak like that." I asked who she was talking about? She said Doug. I told her then it's a sure bet that it's a dream. Doug doesn't ever talk like that! As we were talking, she heard Shawn's voice. "There, that's the bad voice." I told her it was Shawn, my son. She wasn't convinced. I had him come in so she could see him. She was convinced he wasn't a bad guy, but still doesn't recognize him as Shawn, my son. I think I finally convinced her that she was dreaming, as I was putting her back to bed, she apologized for having these troubles. She said, "I guess I'm just going to be this way until I go, I'm so sorry." I told her I was sorry that she had to go through all this. She said, "I'm sorry you have to deal with it." I said it was okay, that she just had to concentrate as much as possible on trusting us, if we are telling it's not real. If she could just cling to trusting us, it would be easier for us to help her through it.

On a more uplifting note, it was neat privilege for me to be able to help her sit up as much as possible to participate in the Solemn Assembly in General Conference yesterday to sustain our new prophet. As she laid back down after raising her arm to the square to sustain Pres. Thomas S. Monson and all the other General Authorities of the Church, a great big smile spread across her face!