Welcome Home Auntie Donna!!!

I wrote this entry in my Blog yesterday, but I thought I would copy and paste it over here for you.

Welcome Home Auntie Donna!!!
Sunday I was so thankful to sleep in! Jenn said that she was going to visit Nana in the morning so I took advantage of that and slept in until noon! I couldn't believe it! The baby woke up at 7 so I got up with her but she was tired again by about 8 so I laid down with her in Katelynn's bed. (Katelynn was in my bed snuggling with her Daddy!) I remember Shawn coming in and getting the baby when he woke up. And I remember several attempts from Shawn and the kids to wake me up later, but all attempts were unsuccessful! I couldn't keep my eyes open at all! When I finally did wake up, I was shocked to find out it was 12:00!
.
Katelynn and Ciara joined me to visit Nana! We brought a couple of movies to help keep them occupied..and it worked.
.
Shortly after arriving, a nurse from Love Health Care (hospice) came by to visit. I can't even begin to describe the woman. She was overbearingly loud. Almost like she thought everyone in the room was deaf! I think we were all grateful when she didn't stay too long.
.
Soon, it was just Nana and I. We were able to visit and chit chat for a little bit. Every car that drove by or every time that Lady would bark, Nana would get all excited. "Is that them!? Are they home?!" She knew that the kids were picking up their parents from the airport and was anxious to see her daughter!
.
After about an hour the van pulled up! I couldn't believe how fast Nana was scooting her bum to the edge of the bed! She wanted to be up and ready for Donna! And there she was! Aunt Donna jumped into the room with the same excitement that Nana had! It was so wonderful to watch them hug and kiss and hug and cry and hug and kiss!

.
I was able to stay just a little while longer to visit with the family and to hear just a few blurbs about the trip. I am so grateful that everything went well.

.

Faith is a wonderful thing.
.
Welcome home Auntie Donna!!

On a Clear Day...

I am so pleased to write that mom has overcome odds once more. Her fogginess and confusion has lessened and she seems much more clear and reasonable in her thinking.
She has confessed about some of her delusions and she recognizes them as being just that. No more conspiracy theories or hallucinations of destruction.
She told me she still sees people coming and going but there is no fear or threats. She was also a bit confused about what month it was, but she accepted the truth quite readily.
I have seen her eat more than she has the last few months.
She still needs lots of sleep and physically, the symptoms of renal failure continue to add up but she is no longer foggy.
On sunday, we watched Pirates of the Carribean and once again she loved it, tho she made a comment near the end about too much fighting!
On tues we watched Godzilla with Mathew Brodrick. It was sooo funny. During the movie, mom made the comment that "the other Godzilla is better". I asked her if she meant the old Tokyo movies and she said yes! I mean, this Godzilla isnt very good but worse than the 60's Godzilla?? I'd have to think about that one.
Anyway, she is doing better and that is what counts. My heart is lifted. I know she is slipping away slowly, but her mind being intact is such a relief!
Love to you all.

"The List"

    When I was a young adult I would often visit Diana when her children were very small. I would go and visit her and tell her stories about my life and she would give me her advice. I'm sure she must have been in her thirties or so at the time becauase I was about 21 or so ( I just turned 55 so this was about thirty years ago). I am sure all of you who know and love her see her as a rather unconventional woman. I always could trust her judgement no matter what we discussed because she never judged me and could always find a positive solution to a problem. A gift that really is so rare and looking back I now see that she had her own problems to deal with but she never let me  know that, she just listened and gave me her best advice. One day while we were visiting she showed me her "list" that she was working on for all the things she was looking for in a new mate.

It had 3 parts, one for the must haves- one for the maybes- and one for the no way! She really was giving me an insight, oh so many years ago to visualizing what you want in life and putting it on paper to help a person keep on the right path! I've never forgotten this about her and how impressed I was about her "list". The only problem I can see from this now, is that one who is honest can really never see a dishonest intention. I LOVE YOU DIANA! Thank you for all the great advice and love you have given me. Your Cousin , April

Santa Barbara Fiesta

I thought it would be fun to bring back some memories of the Santa Barbara Fiesta Days! These pictures of Nana (Diana)when she was a girl are so beautiful I just wanted you all to see them. We had some great times doing our dances and posing for the camera. Mama taught us well. She made all our costumes and taught us how to pose. We performed for every Fiesta in August for years! Maybe that's why Diana (Nana) was so good at teaching her kids to perform and have such fun showing their talents when she became a mother. She didn't need any magic clothes back then."Look at that figure!!!! (not sure the pics went in, I hope they did) Love to all

Good and Bad Weekend

Just wanted to let you all know that we were able to get the pics of April's post to go into the entry. So, go back and look for them!! It's the "Let us Entertain You" post. Great fun!!

It sure was great to have Chris, here this weekend. (I don't know if I'll ever truly get used to Chris, instead of Denise or Neecey, as I used to call her, it still slips) She spent a lot of good time with Nana. It seems to have been good for Nana as well. She was awake a little more and actually ate more too. We did find out that she's not as clear headed as we thought, at times, even when she seems like it. Sometimes, Dementia patients down play their paranoia to cover it up and not draw attention to themselves. It was interesting to see her do that.

Poor dear, had another fall this weekend. She actually fell off the potty and bruised her tail bone, OUCH!! That has created a lot of discomfort. Also, the vertigo hit her once while she was on the potty and just about nose dived it into the tile. I'm so glad I was there. It just creates a fear of leaving her in there all by herself, now. We are trying to figure out the best way to get enough help in here while I'm on my trip. Hospice is going to have a big discussion about it on Wednesday and let me know. It's about time, since I have been trying to get them to plan this out for weeks. Everyone has just been so busy. We'll just have to wait and see.

Love to you all, and hope you are all thinking about your next post...Keep the great stories and memories coming!! It sure makes this more exciting when everyone contributes!!

Mothers kind words

Well it was November 6th 1987, I woke up in labor with my first child Megan. We all got to the hospital and mom, Deanna, and Dad was taking turns helping me through labor. Deanna and mom got hungry and told dad to stay with me while they went to eat. Dad being quite nervous desired them to return quickly. Well wouldn't you know it I hit hard labor and was getting ready to give birth. I was scared, dad was scared, where is your mother, he cried. I told my father I can't have this baby alone you can't leave me. Just as the doctor said it was time to push mom came in the room,(to both me and my fathers relief.) My mom looked and said,"I can see the head look Terry!" I looked over in horror to see where my father was,(hoping he had already left the room) looking up I found my father squeezing his body into the corner of the room yelling no, no. He quickly found the door and ran. Being so young and completely terrified I wasn't doing so well. Then came the words from my mother that I would never forget. She leaned down and whispered in my ear, "this is the best thing you will ever do in your whole life" I looked at her and knew I would be ok. I then gave birth to the most beautiful baby. I have been blessed to have my mother there for two of my children's birth.

TickleFest '78

I wish I had pictures to show you with this memory....

I had a lot of friends in high school. We were mostly made up of actors from theatre class. We were also the group who went to Rocky Horror.
Anyway....we would "Bunbury". Now, "Bunbury" was a secret word that we would use on the phone when calling each other if we wanted a get-together. What has all of this to do with mom??
Well, everyone's favorite place to Bunbury was my home, a little apartment in Westminster. Now, this was not because of me, no no no...they loved "nana". She was nana to most, "mom" to some, and she loved each of them dearly.
During one particular Bunbury, mom was in the kitchen baking cookies and the smell was incredible! We were sitting in the living room chatting when we stopped and looked at each other. There was about 7 or 8 of us that day, and we had one thing on our minds. How to get to the cookies! Mom had told us to stay out of the kitchen till she was done.
Elaine Fong, one of my dearest friends, had an idea....and Ticklefest 1978 began!
One would run in, tickle mom, who would laugh and scream hysterically, into a corner, and another would run in and grab a cookie (or a dip of dough!), then both would run out.
She would gasp for breath in the kitchen, then yell out that what we were doing wasn't fair.
I think she realized after the second attack that there were at least 5 more coming!!
But she was wrong...how can you eat just one of mom's chocolate chip cookies.
We had a blast, everyone laughing and tickling till we were stuffed with cookies and exhausted from laughing!!
Mom loved it, by the way...don't let her tell you any different!

Lifes a beach

Just in case a few of you are wondering who Chris is, its me Denise. I go by my middle name now, Chris. Anyway I would like to tell you about another adventure, one that didn't go so well. I was about 12, Donna 13. My mom came to us out of the blue and said lets go on a picnic. First off we were excited because it was a school day and she was going to let us ditch. We all together prepared an awesome lunch. Then the task of figuring out where should we go. Mom had the best idea ever, the beach. So we again got in the car and headed off for another adventure. I'm not quite sure what beach she took us to but there was no one else there,(seeing it was a weekday and not even being summer.) We parked the car and walked onto the beach to find the perfect spot. Which we did, or at least thought so. We spread out the blanket and set out the food and began to eat our lunch. The next thing I knew a big wave came in and came splashing up on to the beach. It got us, our food, the blanket, everything. We thought we were far enough up on the sand but a tide came in and proved us wrong. I was mad because I was wet and my food was gone. I look at mom and she was laughing so hard me and Donna couldn't help but start laughing too. (no heather it wasn't the angry laugh, she was really cracking up.) What a day that was. I will never forget it.

Let Us Entertain You!

This is a little info on the Helmer Dr. talent shows. Diane (NANA) and sister Jackie with the help of friends and neighbors would present talent for an audience. This would involve lots of rehearsals and much fine tuning by the sisters to get everything just right. My children often tease me as to why kids would want to put on a talent show, but this was before the days of even television as we now know it and to me it was exciting and fun (well sometimes I really didn't want to practice). And Diane and Jackie were true professionals (maybe with a little help from their Mom). So here is a little view of the famous " ZIADY SISTERS" who are ROCK STARS in my memory of being a little girl looking up to my cousins. My performance in this show was "Chantilly Lace" by the Big Bopper and I think I had another part in it but can't seem to remember what it was, however I was 5 or 6 at the time. I know somewhere are all the 8 millimeter films of all the performances thanks to my NINO ( TATA ) who filmed everything .

Much love to all the " FAMILIA" and thanks for the wonderful memories!

A NIGHT AT THE INN

My mother always tried to do little adventures for us. I do recall a few. Some turning out good and some having a not so good turnout. One in particular is when me and Donna where little girls mom thought it would be nice to go and travel far away from home and spent the night in a hotel somewhere we had never been before. I remember packing our bags wondering where we would end up. We got in the car and began our adventure. I remember we drove what seem to be a long time. We finally got to a hotel and checked in. We had a blast. Singing, dancing,talking,what have you. The next day we headed home. It was till some time later we girls found out that we weren't but a block from our own home. As I am older now that just make this memory even sweeter.

Little Purple Pansies...

Nana and her plants were amazing! She has such a talent with plants. They love her. I remember she always had beautiful plants all over the house. She would talk to them all the time. I remember when she had planted pansies around the base of a tree in the backyard in Whittier. She would go out there all the time and sing "Little Purple Pansies" to them. There will never be a time that I hear that song and not think of her. I remember too that she gave everyone a flower name. Deanna is a rose, Donna a baby pink rose, and I'm pretty sure Denise is a daisy, right? She was so sweet and didn't want me left out so she said I was her sunny, yellow Daffodil. Just one more thing I love her for. And ever since daffodils are my favorite flower. I love you Nana!

Look Who Came For A Visit!

I went to the airport today and found Denise standing there! She came to spend a few days with Nana. I originally told Nana she was coming on Wednesday, but the airline schedules worked out better for Thursday. Nana kept asking for her on Wednesday, "I thought she was coming on Wednesday". I had to keep saying, "no Mom, Thursday". Then this morning she asked again, "when is Denise coming?" After lunch... she was so happy to see her that she didn't want to go to sleep because Denise might go to another part of the house. She wanted her right there beside her bed. Finally, she got so tired she had to give in and sleep.

Nana is doing pretty good today. She seems pretty clear headed, tired, but clear headed. She is experiencing some veritigo symptoms. It was kind of scarey at first to watch because she looked like she was stroking. But when she could finally speak, she let me know that it was the same feeling when she had vertigo on her mission. It isn't constant and seems to only last a few minutes at a time. Like we need something else, huh!!!

Denise is here for a few days, Monday to be exact. I'm going to get her on here a few times to post some of her stories...so stay tuned!!

Strawberry Shortcake, Wouldn't you know

The other day I was reminiscing with my Mom about Nana. She reminded me that when I was a little girl my Nana and I shared a love with Strawberry Shortcake. I promised her that we would one day live in a strawberry house together and eat strawberries all day!

.

Than my Aunt Donna found this picture for me. I wanted to share it with you. I love how happy we both are. I have so many wonderful joyful memories that I will be able to keep with me forever.

.

I love you Nana! Mucho Mucho! Thank you so much for the guidance and love you have given me. I can honestly say that you had a major part of molding me into the woman I am today. Thank you.

.

.

I often go walking in meadows of clover

And I gather armfuls of blossoms of blue

I gather the blossoms the whole meadow over

Dear Nana, all flowers remind me of you.

O Nana, I give you my love with each flower

To give forth sweet fragrance a whole lifetime through

For if I love blossoms and meadows and walking

I learn how to love them, dear Nana, from you.

Words: Phyllis Luch, 1937–1995. © 1969 IRI
Music: Jeanne P. Lawler, b. 1924. © 1969 IRI

My Mom Could Sew!!

One of the things that makes me smile is all the pictures I have of all the outfits she used to make. Man, could she sew, and she loved every minute of it! It was very difficult to pick just a few, but here are some...

She used to make us all matching outfits. But mostly Denise and I would match, we looked like twins all the time because we were about the same size. I know I would get asked all the time if my kids were twins. So I can only imagine how much she would get it. I think the sailor outfits were one of her favorites. We have some nice portraits in those. On the back of this picture she wrote, "My sailor gals".

She made us clothes for Christmas parties, Easter dresses, play dresses. I have pictures of all sorts of outfits.

She also used to make all the Halloween costumes. I thought this one was thoughtful...the boys are devils and sweet Deanna is an angel!!

Last but not least, I had to put in this one with my Nana, her mother. I am amazed at how much they look alike.

Nana is having more and more trouble with confusion, I guess they call it dementia. The doctors or nurses haven't actually diagnosed her with this, but it seems to fit the symptoms. Her blood pressure is dropping, I've taken her off all the high blood pressure meds and it's still dropping, slowly but surely. It was mentioned that because her body isn't getting the oxygen distributed to her brain as good as it should, this dementia behavior was absolutely normal.

Sorry the spacing is all weird, I couldn't seem to get it right, next time I won't put so many pictures in one post!

Paranoia Setting In

I thought I would write a little bit about Nana's paranoia. I'm not sure why, but she has developed some paranoia about bad people getting into the house and hurting her or us. I've asked her if she's afraid of dieing, and she says no, not at all. But for some reason, she is having these horrible dreams, and hallucinations to that effect. And what's worse, it's scary for her.

Yesterday, while I was at Katie's (Gina's daughter) birthday party, she was hearing Mexican noises and voices. She didn't think she was here in Bountiful. She wasn't sure where she was. She wouldn't listen to Melanie that everything was alright. She had her bring in Doug and he tried to convince her, and she still wouldn't believe it was a dream. But she decided to just relax and let it happen. She was quiet for a little bit and when she couldn't stand it anymore, she got up to go potty and checked outside. Sure enough she was here in Bountiful, she checked the living room and sure enough it was only our family here. She apologized for causing trouble and went back to bed. Doug told her it was fine, and asked if she was okay now. She said yes. When I got home, she talked about it, and felt bad that she didn't believe them.

Last night she called me in and told me they were going to come in here and kill us all. She was concerned about me and wanted to make it as easy as possible for me. She said she was okay, because she was ready to die. I asked her who was going to kill us, she said it was a woman who told her that they were going to come in and shoot us all. The only people in the house was our family. I tried to convince her that it was a dream. We have no guns in the house and there were no bad guys here. She said she never heard such bad language, "but I guess if he's trying to save his children, he could speak like that." I asked who she was talking about? She said Doug. I told her then it's a sure bet that it's a dream. Doug doesn't ever talk like that! As we were talking, she heard Shawn's voice. "There, that's the bad voice." I told her it was Shawn, my son. She wasn't convinced. I had him come in so she could see him. She was convinced he wasn't a bad guy, but still doesn't recognize him as Shawn, my son. I think I finally convinced her that she was dreaming, as I was putting her back to bed, she apologized for having these troubles. She said, "I guess I'm just going to be this way until I go, I'm so sorry." I told her I was sorry that she had to go through all this. She said, "I'm sorry you have to deal with it." I said it was okay, that she just had to concentrate as much as possible on trusting us, if we are telling it's not real. If she could just cling to trusting us, it would be easier for us to help her through it.

On a more uplifting note, it was neat privilege for me to be able to help her sit up as much as possible to participate in the Solemn Assembly in General Conference yesterday to sustain our new prophet. As she laid back down after raising her arm to the square to sustain Pres. Thomas S. Monson and all the other General Authorities of the Church, a great big smile spread across her face!

She's a Lady..Whoa Whoa Whoa..She's a Lady!

There has been some talk about our little Lady, especially in the last post so I thought I would introduce her to all who have not met her.

When mom was living with me after her mission, she would hint...well, perhaps hint is too soft a word...that she wanted a little lap dog of her own. Troy and I have bigger dogs and they don't really fit on a lap!

At first, Troy was soooo against a third dog in the house, but mom soon got to him and he relented. One day, mom and I went to the animal shelter in town. We spotted a darling little dog right off. Mom wanted that little boy, but a sign on his cage told us he was on hold. So, we went further into the room of small homeless dogs. When their eyes met, it was magic. I could hear music fill the room as mom stepped closer to the bottom cage where a scraggly apricot colored dog stood, barking and whining to be let out. We got a worker to come and let the dog, whose card stated her as being named Lady, out. Mom took her outside for awhile and the two got to know each other better.

At first, Lady would not give kisses, something mom really wanted her little dog to do! For all of us who know her now, you know kisses are not a problem for Lady! But mom became more and more attached to the little dog so we took her home on a trial run.

Well, the rest is history. Mom got her groomed and she looked like an entirely different dog! Mom and Lady have been inseparable since!

Weird Stuff Happening...Is It a Dream???

I decided to tell you a story about what happened to us this morning...

At about 4am this morning, Nana woke up and was trying to get her walker right over the top of the vacuum cleaner, headed towards the kitchen. She was stuck. I asked her what she was trying to do, she said she had to go potty. I told her the potty was the other direction. She said she wanted a drink, too. I told her there was water in her room. She started to sit down in the middle of the hall. I asked her what she was doing, she said she had to sit down, I told her not to sit on the floor, we wouldn't be able to get her back up. She needed to sit in the walker. She was so weak from trying to get the walker over the vacuum, it was difficult, but we managed. I got her to the bathroom and she insisted that I turn the light on because she heard fluttering. So I turned on the light and checked. She said she could hear the fluttering like moths or something. I listened, but couldn't hear anything but the furnace blowing. I got her to calm down and put her back in bed. She kept saying she could hear the fluttering. So I listened and couldn't hear anything but the furnace. I talked her through it, and told her that the furnace was a good noise, it was warming her room. She calmed down and went to sleep (with the help of some drugs).

At a little after 8 this morning I heard a noise from her room, Lady barking her head off, Mom calling for help. I ran in there and would you believe...Lady barking her head off so much she couldn't stay on top of the back of the couch! In the window sill was a bird!!!! Now, How am I going to get this bird out of there without causing too much upset with Nana???

I got Lady out of there, first thing. I went back in there and mom is calling the bird here baby, come here. She thought it was a dog, and she was calling it. Believe it or not, she stayed very calm until it was all over. I called Doug to come home and help me get the bird out because I knew if that bird started flying, I was in trouble with Nana. Doug came and the bird made a couple of circles in the room and out the door, but Nana did great...Until the bird was out!! ...Then the paranoia began.

I closed the screen to the fireplace, so if anymore birds come down the chimney, they can't get into the room. I have had to reassure her several times. Emily went in to talk to her before she left for school, Nana was already asking if there was a bird on her bed. I had to go in there and exaggerated looking all over the bed and room to make sure there were no birds in the room. I could tell she was still nervous, but she's doing pretty good considering!! She does keep asking about different noises she hears. I'm not sure, but it sure seems too coincidental that she heard the fluttering this morning. I wonder if the bird was either already in her room or was in the fireplace at 4am this morning and that was what she heard. But she thought she heard it in the bathroom too, and I couldn't hear anything. I really don't know, too coincidental???

We couldn't find her glasses anywhere this morning. I looked, what I thought was, everywhere. When she got up to go potty, I tore apart her bed, looking in her blankets and pillows..Still no glasses. I checked the bathroom, kitchen, hallway... I couldn't imagine where they could have gone. Finally, I sat down and asked Mom to think for a minute if she had any dreams about her glasses last night. She thought for a minute and then turned around and pointed them out. There they where on the floor, tucked in a corner, by her night stand. She said she dreamed she was playing a game with Lady, but Lady wasn't a dog!! I asked her how she knew they were there, she said, "I don't know!"

Weird stuff happening at our house, not all of them are dreams!!

Rocky Horror Picture Show!!

Someone has to start this one, it should really get some memories going. I was too young to actually attend, but boy, do I remember all the pre-party stuff! I believe it was around 1978, it seemed it was every Friday Night, Nana would stop and get Denise and I some fast food and we would settle down and watch the fun. We would have what seemed like tons of teenagers at our house getting all decked out in black corsets, fish net stockings, boas, high heels, hair, make-up...you name it. Boys and girls alike. Nana not only went with them, she dressed up as a time warper and participated with them! I'm not sure who enjoyed it more?!! I think it started out to be as a chaperone, but then she started to enjoy herself, too! And Dee's friends loved having her around, their parents didn't seem to mind so much if there was an adult present. It seemed to work out great for everyone.

They would gather all their props and then they would all leave. Denise and I would sit and watch our Friday night shows Dukes of Hazard, Dynasty (can't really remember what else) and eat our goodies. Then we would go to bed.

When we got up in the morning, it would be literally wall to wall kids on our livingroom floor. We would wake them all up and they would tell us the stories of how their night went. Oh how envious we were, all the acting out & singing, all through the movie. (Just like the Ninja movie, Gina, only everyone WAS doing it with her)

Denise and I had never seen the movie but from all the stories, and listening to the soundtrak during the week, we would act it out the best we could. It wasn't until years later that I came across it again and about died when I put it all together what the movie was about and what I had been singing with so much gusto as a little girl "Toucha, Toucha, Toucha, Touch Me...."!!

I know I have more pictures of everyone dressing up. I'm still looking for them, does anyone else have some??